Life is so Confusing

Life is so confusing. I have time and time again thought I knew what I was supposed to do with my life but am at a crossroads once again. I feel like something is missing and I need to do something about it. My career is not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. Working from home has started eating at my soul. I have done really well the last couple of years in my company recently getting Outstanding Team Member. But for some reason I have never felt fulfilled with my job. I have realized making good money and getting awards does not equal happiness. So that brings me to the decision should I attend graduate school to become a teacher. I have wanted to do this since I was actually in college but never did anything about it. I am going to apply to some graduate programs and see what happens. But there are pros and cons: Pros

• Interaction with people (not just my computer)
• Working with kids
• Summer offs/winter break
• Make a difference in someones live (hopefully)

Cons

• Going back to school
• Pay cut
• Student debt
• Moving home
• No more purses :(

I wish someone would just tell me what to do. It would make my life so much easier. I guess all I can do is trust that I will make the right decision. I have to do what is best for me and not what others think I should I do. Wish me luck!!!

Running

So I have decided that I have a love/hate relationship with running. I love to run, but as soon as I have to run to train for a race I all of a sudden do not want to do it anymore. Lately I have been running more than usual and its cause I don't have to get a certain amount of miles in. So I find it somewhat enjoyable. With it being cold outside I have had to learn to like the treadmill. I am trying to get more miles in each day. So I am pulling two a days, I run 5 miles in the morning and then go back at night and do another 3 miles. I know that sounds a little extreme but I cannot do all 8 miles at the same time I would bore myself to death on the treadmill. I do have to confess if there is a trashy reality show on while I am running it does make it more enjoyable. I also have been running in Nike Frees lately. And I love them you can feel so every step you are making. I think they help with the JLo situation I have going on too. They have made me realize I have muscles that I didn't even know that I have.

My list

Lately people keep telling me you need to change what you are looking for in a boy. But I have decided I have somethings on my list that I am not willing to compromise on. This goes beyond the basics that are considered standard:

• Must be active (they don't need to run marathons but need to be able to do activities without getting winded)
• Have to be taller than 5'9"
• Have to weigh more than me
• Has to have a job or goals to how they are going to get one
• Has to love my family, cause lets be honest I am a little obsessed with them
• Good teeth (its a hygiene thing for me)
• Has to worship me ;)
• Has to let me sing, dance and be corky

My list doesn't seem so unrealistic. I am have given up somethings like:

• Makes millions
• Looks like Ryan Reynolds
• Can run marathons
• Drives a super nice car
• Can cook (I am fine with cereal)